FIC: Cap-Iron Man Big Bang: Tie Your Heart to Mine, Part 1

[alexs_storybook]

Title: Tie Your Heart to Mine, Part 1
Author: alexcat
Artist: KakushiMiko
Universe: MCU
Rating (both fic and art): Fic - Explicit, Art - General
Word Count: 27804
Warnings: Heart attack, one violent but not too graphic death
Notes: This story began as a short story and bloomed into something else altogether. Like most fans, CW and IW left my heart broken so I decided to fix them. This is my fix (or one of them anyway).
I’d like to thank my hubby for letting me bounce ideas off of him and for putting up my frantic writing in the last days. I also want to thank him for reminding me that it was MY story to tell.
I also want to thank both of my betas. It was such a hot mess, that I needed two: athletiger and [personal profile] nuinzilien. It reads more like a story now, thanks to you two!
My artist is KakushiMiko and you’ll see her great stuff throughout the work and at her link! Thanks so much, Flo!
Fic Summary: Tony wants Steve Rogers and sets out to get him. The relationship they begin is more than either is ready for as the events play out from the aftermath of the attack on New York to the attack by Thanos and its fallout. Can their love survive? Can they survive?

~~~


Tie Your Heart to Mine

“By night, beloved, tie your heart to mine
and let them both in dreams defeat the darkness”
― Pablo Neruda

*

Prologue –

In 2012, after the battle of New York, Tony Stark opened the file marked “WakandaForever.” It was an audio file, left by his odd visitor.

“Thanks so much, Tony. Do me a favor. Never tell anyone any of this. It is important that no one knows, but you. If you have more questions, I’ll be glad to answer them for you when I see you next. Take care of yourself.”

*

Part One

Tony Stark didn’t know how to approach what he was about to do. He had decided several weeks ago that Steve Rogers was going to be in his bed. He was not sure that Rogers would approve, but that was his goal. While he normally gravitated toward women, there had been a few men over the years for whom he had more than a passing fancy.

And he had more than a passing fancy for Rogers. Captain America was Howard Stark’s hero and thus Tony had always needed to better him. He’d disliked Rogers before he ever met him. Then it happened – the battle of New York. He fell head over heels in love with this wonderful, beautiful, stubborn, near-perfect supersoldier.

But the man was completely straight…or so he’d seen. And all the women adored him. Even cold-hearted Romanov had warmed to Rogers, if the time he caught them half-naked in the common room at Stark Tower was any indication. He’d also seen Sharon Carter sneaking out of Steve’s room a few times. He’d even heard a rumor that Rogers had been seen with Fury’s right hand, Maria Hill, and that they were quite close.

There was also the problem of Rogers not liking him. He knew, as did everyone, that Rogers thought him a jaded, spoiled, entitled brat. And Stark knew he was every single one of those things. But he was more, too. He just had to make Steve see that.

He not only wanted Rogers in his bed, but he wanted to fuck him to distraction. To be clear, he did not want to be fucked by Rogers; well, yes, he did eventually but he really, really wanted to bury himself all the way in Steve Rogers’ fine ass. He wanted to hear Rogers make sounds as he fucked him. He wanted to make Steve Rogers his own.

Should he ask him outright? Maybe he should ask Pepper what to do. Would that be too weird, given his history with her?

One day, the Avengers got called out to defend against a crime lord in Bogotá with a lot of Chitauri tech. This man was trying to take control of the entire city. Iron Man tackled the weapons while Captain America worked to see the civilians safely out of the war zone, aided by Hawkeye and the Widow. Bruce elected to stay on the plane unless things went south and they needed his rage monster. Rhodey helped Iron Man. It was an not easy task, but they managed with much less damage than in New York and almost no loss of life. Somehow, however, the crime lord had managed to die. No one cried over that.

They were all quite exhausted afterward. They headed to the Helicarrier, cloaked and waiting for them. After dinner, they all drifted toward their quarters. Steve’s quarters were beside Tony’s.

“Cap, want to come in for a bit? Too early for sleep. Maybe a movie or something? I got a tablet we can watch on.” It was worth a chance, he thought.

Steve shrugged. “Why not?”

Tony opened the door and they entered the room, a small, utilitarian room with just enough room for a bed and chair. Steve sat on the chair; Tony sat on the bed. They watched an action film with some gratuitous female nudity, of course, and lots and lots of violence and explosions.

“Not sure I’ll ever get used to the new movies with all the nudity and sex scenes,” Steve said. “The first time I went to a movie with Maria Hill, it was R rated. When a sex scene came on, I was so embarrassed I wanted to climb under the seat.”

“You went out with Agent Hill?” Tony asked quite casually.

“I think she felt sorry for me, so she took me to the movies.”

“We all figured she was all business. I can’t even imagine her, um, dating,” he finished lamely, on purpose, hoping to draw Steve out.

“She’s all right. Probably no more tense than I am.”

“You’re pretty tense, Cap. I’ve seen you with those punching bags.”

Steve laughed. “So is she.”

“I’m dying to ask…” Tony let it hang in the air.

“I don’t kiss and tell.”

“Oh, so you did kiss her?”

Steve laughed. “You are an ass, Stark.”

“I am, but you can’t blame me for asking.”

“I guess not. I should go. Thanks for the movie.”

Tony dreamed about Steve that night, about his hands touching those strong arms, his mouth touching other parts…

-

They were back in New York the next day.

When Maria Hill showed up from SHIELD to debrief them, Tony had a hard time not staring at her. Had Steve slept with her? He’d love to know.

“Captain Rogers, it sounds as if the mission went well,” Maria addressed Steve as the leader when they all sat down around a conference table to discuss the mission.

“It did go well,” Steve replied. “A lot less damage and fewer casualties. Though to be honest, we weren’t fighting aliens either, just alien tech. Stark took care of the tech pretty quickly. The ground forces were a little harder to take down. Ortega had an army.”

“To be fair, there were only three of you to take on an army,” Tony added.

“Director Fury was pleased,” Maria said, a tad officiously.

Tony laughed. “Is Fury ever really pleased?”

Maria almost smiled. “Not often, but he is glad that no civilians were hurt this time.”

After Agent Hill had gone back to DC, the team met.

“We could certainly use some more bodies,” Steve said.

“I’m working on remote suits that work under the control of JARVIS,” Tony told him.

“They would be good in an air battle, but I’m still thinking we need more ground presence in a situation like Bogotá or New York,” Natasha said. “We did okay, but when criminals develop a better knowledge of the alien weaponry, we’ll be at a disadvantage.”

“Maybe we do need to recruit a few more bodies then. There have to be more SHIELD agents with skill sets similar to Clint’s or Natasha’s,” Tony said. “Tell Fury that.”

They all agreed.

Steve nodded. “Great job, you guys.”

“Now we need to go out and party,” Stark piped up.

Steve looked at him, clearly irritated. “Is that all you think about?”

“No. I think of sex once in a while, cars, clothes, food - though mostly I think of hamburgers - and I think of my suits so no, it’s not all I think of. What do you think of, oh venerated one? Telephones with cranks? Woolen underwear? Jerking off to big band music?”

He watched the anger play across Steve’s near perfect features and watched him push it down. It only made Tony want him more.

“Sorry, Stark. I was out of line. You all ignore the old man, if you would.” He was clearly angry, the tell being the stubborn set of his mouth.

He quietly gathered his folders and left the room. All eyes turned to Stark.

“Asshole much, Stark?” Natasha asked. “What the fuck?”

“He hit a nerve,” was the only excuse Tony offered. Truthfully, he felt much worse than he let on. “Okay, okay, I owe him an apology.”

“You sure as hell do,” Natasha returned, anger blazing in her eyes.

He headed for Steve’s quarters. He tapped on the door.

“I don’t feel like talking about – Oh, it’s you. Come to see if I was jerking off to big band music? What the fuck do you want? Oh, sorry, us old men probably don’t know that word either, do we?”

“Shut the hell up a minute and let me apologize, asshole,” Tony said as he shoved past Steve and into his small apartment.

“Why? Why should I let you apologize? Are you even sorry?”

“Yeah, I am. I was outta line, Cap.”

Steve took a deep breath and Tony saw him visibly relax. “Yeah, you were and I overreacted, too. I – something about you puts me on edge sometimes.”

“Maybe it’s because I’m like Howard.”

“You are, but that’s not it. It’s something else, something I can’t quite figure out.”

Tony wanted to kiss Steve so bad that he was amazed that Steve couldn’t sense the need on him. He caught himself staring at that mouth, wondering how it would feel on his cock.

“You all right, Stark? You look – well, you looked like you wanted to eat me alive for a second.”

It was now or never, Tony decided. “Maybe that’s it.”

“What?” An odd look crossed Steve’s face, but it wasn’t confusion. Wariness, maybe. “What does that mean?”

“Maybe I do want to eat you up?”

“I’m lost here.” Now Steve looked confused. Tony was sure he couldn’t explain so he decided to show him. He stepped close, leaned in and kissed Steve on the mouth. Steve pushed him away. “What the h -” He didn’t finish because Tony simply stepped back up and did it again. Steve didn’t quite return the kiss, but he didn’t push him away either this time. He stood very still, allowing Tony to put his arms around him quite slowly as if he were trying to approach an untamed colt.

Tony broke the one sided kiss and looked at him.

“What are you doing?” Steve whispered the words, as if afraid of them.

“I kissed you. I want to kiss you again. I’ve wanted it for a while.”

“I – why?”

“I want you. For the first time in a long time, someone has set me on fire,” Tony said, slowly raising his hand and touching Steve’s face. “You.”

Steve didn’t say anything one way or the other, still standing still in Tony’s awkward embrace.

“Have I done the wrong thing?” Tony finally asked.

“I don’t know what to say. It’s not the kind of thing I’m used to.”

“I didn’t expect you to be. You’re from another time.”

Steve shook his head. “No, it’s not that. It’s that…” he stopped as if unsure of what to say. “The kiss threw me. Back when I was young, there were others, before the serum. But we never kissed. They - we just did what needed done and that was it.” The slip of the tongue didn’t get past Tony.

“I don’t want to just do what needs doing. I want more than that, Rogers. If I want to just fuck someone, I can hire a body for that. I want you and I want to kiss you and touch you and I want you to do the same thing to me. I’m so sorry about what I said. Please forgive me. I need you to forgive me, even if you throw me out on my ass.”

Why not, Steve thought. It was better than being alone. “Stop talking and kiss me again then, Stark.”

So he did.

*

As much as Tony wanted to press for more, he didn’t. They kissed and made out, hands exploring a little here and there, but that was all. Then they kissed goodnight inside Steve’s door, a kiss that was almost Tony’s undoing as Steve slid a hand between them to caress Tony through the fabric of his trousers.

Tony made his escape and spent a long night rolling around in sweaty sheets, dreaming of Captain America’s kisses. He finally gave in and took himself in hand, letting himself think about sliding his cock inside Steve Rogers. Shit, he thought. I have to stop this now!


The next day was busy for both men. Whether it was real or manufactured business, only they knew; but they really didn’t see one another until dinner.

“My room,” Tony said quietly to Steve as they put their plates in the dishwasher in the communal kitchen.

After all the team had piled up in the rec room for either some television or card playing, Tony slipped off to his room. He might have been pretending to work all day, but most of the day, he’d spent trying to keep anyone from noticing the damned hard on he’d had since last night.

He was pouring himself a drink when he heard the tap on his door.

“Yeah?”

“It’s me.” Steve.

“Come on in and lock it behind you.”

Steve stepped in the door. He was dressed in a jeans and a white t-shirt. He hadn’t bothered with a belt or even socks. He looked like he’d slept as well as Tony had.

“Rough night?” Tony asked.

“Yeah. I might as well have come over here. You were there with me anyway.”

“Um, yeah, I had the same problem. Didn’t get much sleep. Felt like I did in eighth grade. You ever feel that way?”

“Not as much. Like I said, my encounters were a little different.”

Tony had to ask. “Did you feel used?”

“Sometimes. There were times when it -” He stopped. “I don’t think I want to go there. It was not pleasant, let’s just leave it at that.”

“Agreed.” There were things in Tony’s past that he didn'

“Now what? We fuck?” Steve was quite – well, Tony wasn’t completely sure what he was. Anxious, maybe? Still a little angry with him?

“We’ll get to it eventually, if you want to. I was thinking more about kissing you again right now. I can be persuaded otherwise, if you want it that way.”

Tony saw that Steve relaxed as soon as he said “eventually.” Tony took a sip of his drink and set it aside, then he took a step closer and another until he was close enough to touch Steve. He didn’t touch him, though. “Hey, if this is too much or if it’s not what you want, you have to tell me. I’ll be okay with it, if you do.”

Steve said nothing, just leaned close and kissed Tony’s lips without otherwise touching him. Besides kissing back, Tony didn’t move at all. Steve touched his face, tracing his neatly trimmed beard with a finger as his tongue touched Tony’s lips. Tony opened his mouth and let Steve do as he wished.

Steve took one more step, closing in so much that their bodies were nearly flush. He put his left arm around Tony and pulled him against his own body. Tony felt Steve’s cock hard against him.

“You taste good,” Tony murmured against Steve’s mouth. He did, though Tony wasn’t sure what it was…wholesomeness, perhaps?

“I want to taste more of you,” Steve said and backed up enough to jerk Tony’s shirt over his head and throw it toward a chair. Tony found himself holding his breath as Steve ran his hands over Tony’s shoulders and back before pulling him close and kissing him again. He trailed kisses across his face to his neck, where he nipped the skin almost playfully before soothing it with his tongue. Tony groaned.

He traced the Arc Reactor with a finger as his mouth returned to Tony’s for another kiss.

Steve didn’t stop as Tony tugged at his shirt, pulling it up and running his hands over Steve’s broad, muscled chest. Tony pulled away for a moment and finished removing Steve’s shirt.

“My father was right. He said one time that when you came out of that machine, you looked like a god.”

He was surprised at Steve’s laugh. “No, not a god. Your father was fond of grand images. I’m still just a man.”

“Not just a man at all,” Tony retorted as he reached for the button on Steve’s jeans. Steve didn’t move, allowing Tony to unbutton and unzip him. He wore nothing underneath, which pleased Tony when Steve’s cock was freed. Tony knew he was staring, but Steve was magnificent, all of him.

“If you say so. Your pants, take them off, too.”

Tony’s eyes never left Steve as he dropped his own trousers and kicked them away. Tony didn’t give Steve a chance to do or say anything else as he dropped to his knees on the floor. He reached out and touched Steve reverently.

“Tony.” Steve uttered his name. He usually called him Stark. The sound of his given name made him feel even hotter, if that was even possible. He leaned forward, close enough for his lips to touch Steve. He kissed his abdomen just above the patch of dark, wiry hair around his penis. He smelled not of testosterone and sweat, but clean. Of course he would, Tony thought to himself, as he ran a finger up the bottom of Steve’s penis, catching the clear drop of fluid on the tip and bringing it to his lips. It was salty and sweet at the same time. He darted his tongue out to taste it again at the source, licking the tiny opening with the tip of his tongue. “Tony,” Steve ground out again.

“Have you tasted yourself?” Tony asked as he gathered another drop on his finger. He raised his hand up to Steve’s mouth, having to stretch a little since Steve was so tall. Steve licked his finger then sucked it into his mouth. His tongue wrapped around it and caressed it. “Good god, Rogers, if you’re going to make me feel this way just sucking my finger, I may die if you touch anything else.”

Steve smiled, a real smile, not one of the sad ones that Tony usually saw. “Let’s move to the sofa. It’ll be more comfortable.”

Tony wasn’t too sure about the comfort, but he did like the idea. Steve sat and Tony kneeled between his legs and kissed him again.

“How did I not know I wanted this?” Steve said a little breathlessly as he watched Tony lap at his cock with broad strokes of his tongue.

Then Tony stopped teasing and playing. He took Steve deeply into his mouth and he did all the things he loved done to him, using his hand as well as his tongue to pleasure Steve. He made an appreciative sound when Steve’s hips lifted a little from his seat as his leg muscles tightened and Steve grabbed the fabric of the sofa cushions on either side of him.

Tony ever so gently caressed Steve’s tight testicles as he sucked and licked him. He grinned around his mouthful when Steve actually whimpered. He continued, moving his mouth faster as he felt Steve tense more and more, heard his breathing becoming quicker, shallower.

“I’m gonna come,” Steve whispered, putting his hand on Tony’s head, mussing his dark hair. “Ohhh!” he cried out as his body went rigid for a moment, then he said Tony’s name over and over as he filled his mouth.

Tony swallowed and licked until Steve was still and gasping for breath. He moved up beside Steve on the sofa. “Do it to me, please,” he said as he took Steve’s hand and moved toward his own needy erection. “Now. I can’t wait.”

Steve wrapped his hand around Tony and leaned close to kiss him. He began to move his hand up and down as he kissed his way down the front of Tony’s body. Without much teasing, he took Tony into his mouth.

“Fuck!” Tony hissed as he thrust his hips upward. “I didn’t expect this, not that I’m complaining, mind you. It’s so good. Your mouth, god, it’s hot, oh, Steve, fuck, yes,” he chattered.

Steve paused. “Hush, Tony.” He grinned and went back at it. Tony bit his lip to keep from talking. He watched. Steve had his eyes closed as he sucked and licked Tony.

Tony made a sound, trying hard not to say anything but it felt so good, he was so close, then he came, hard, intensely. “Steve,” he whispered.

When he was done, Steve simply lay his head in Tony’s lap. His eyes were still closed, almost as if he didn’t want to know where he was.

Tony touched his face. “Hey,” he whispered, “are you all right?”

Steve looked at him and smiled. “Yeah. A lot has happened and I’m not sure what to make of it.”

“I know.”

“I should get going. I can’t stay here. You won’t want them to know about…” He waved his arm indicating the two of them.

“Why not?”

“It might make a difference in how we work together.”

“It might not. If you want to stay, I’m okay with it. JARVIS can wake you early if you want to slip back into your apartment before the others are up.”

Steve nodded. Tony suspected Steve really didn’t want to be alone tonight. He knew he didn’t.

They watched the late news, and rummaged for something to eat. They found some chips and cookies so they ate those, returning to the sofa. They sat close together, with Steve’s arm around Tony’s shoulders.

Tony fell asleep leaned against Steve.

*

“So tell me what is going on with you and Stark,” Natasha said to Steve in the kitchen the next day. She was making coffee and he was cutting up some peaches for breakfast.

“Why do you ask that?”

“Because the two of you have spent the last two nights together.”

“Spying?” Steve was okay with it. He and Natasha had a good friendship and when either of them had needed a little more than that, they had that, too. If she needed to know what was going on with him, he didn’t feel she was out of line.

“Little bit, yeah.” She grinned.

“I’m not sure what’s going on.”

“Sex?”

“Um, yeah. Sex.”

“Oh God, you and Stark?! I’ll bet sparks fly there.” Natasha was really enjoying this. “More than sex?”

“That’s the part I’m not sure about.”

“For you or him?”

“Him.”

“Jesus, Steve, are you serious about him?” Natasha looked really surprised.

He lifted his shoulders. “Maybe.”

“Hmmm,” she said, rather noncommittally.

“I can’t talk here.”

Steve was extremely private and Natasha knew that even as good friends as they were, it was hard for him to talk to her about something so personal.

“Come to my apartment and talk to me,” she said.

“I’ll meet you after we eat. I’m starving.”

She grinned at him. She knew he always ate like a horse, but after sex, he was always even more ravenous. She wiggled her eyebrows at him and mouthed, “Later.”

An hour later, Steve went into Natasha’s quarters.

“Full?” she asked, pouring herself another cup of coffee. “Want one?”

“I’m good.”

“Okay, tell me, how did this happen?”

“He came to apologize for being an ass and the next thing I know, he’s kissing me. And I liked it. The next night, things went a little further.”

“I know that you told me you had been with guys before. Why was Stark’s kiss such a shock?”

“They fucked me, N’tasha. They didn’t kiss me.”

An odd look crossed her face, but she understood what he meant. “Oh.”

Steve saw the look but didn’t say anything.

“Is he good? I have to ask.”

“I – well, I don’t know. Not sure what to say. He’s really kind of sweet and he never stops talking.”

“Then you haven’t …?”

“No. I’m pretty sure he, um, wants me to bottom and I think he’s scared to ask me.”

“Is that what you want?”

He blushed and Natasha was amazed that this man she’d shared a bed with on quite a few occasions could be so shy. He was not the least bit shy when he was in bed, just out of it, apparently.

“Then it is?” she pressed.

He nodded. “I think so.”

She grinned. “Then tell him. Tony is a control freak, even worse than me.”

He kissed her cheek. “I bottom with you, too,” he said.

“I know that, but I wasn’t sure that you did.” She laughed as she said it.

“You’re a bossy woman and a control freak. I like letting someone else be in control. It’s one less thing I have to be responsible for.”

She hugged him.


*

Nick Fury came to New York to talk business.

“I’d like Cap and Natasha back in DC,” Fury told Stark. “They do still work for SHIELD and I need them there.”

“I need them here. We can move quickly on threats and I can dink around and improve their gear when they’re in the same building,” Stark argued. “Besides, having us all under one roof builds team unity.”

“I hear you’re even more interesting in ‘dinking’ around with Rogers than with the suits.” He made the little quote marks with his fingers.

Stark saw Steve clench his jaw. He wasn’t too happy himself, not that anyone knew about him and Steve. That was between the two of them. He was angry that Fury had made it his business.

“If I am, so what?”

“SHIELD might see it as a way you could be compromised by people who seek to expose this ‘dinking’.”

“You actually think I care if someone knows?”

“Captain Rogers might care,” Fury said.

“Director Fury, I can’t see that my personal life is any of your or SHIELD’s business. You haven’t lectured me for having relationships with other people,” Steve said. “Right now, I want to stay here. The reason doesn’t matter. If you need me, I’m there and you know that as well as I do.”

“I can transfer you whether you want me to or not,” Fury said to Steve. It was clear that Fury didn’t like to have his authority challenged, even by Steve Rogers.

“I can quit,” Steve ground out. He was angry, too.

“Are you sure?”

“What the hell does that mean?”

Suddenly, Fury did an about face, not willing to argue with either of them anymore. “You can stay here. For now! If you have to know, it’s the World Security Council who has a problem. They think a relationship with Stark could compromise you both.”

“I’m not a risk unless I touch Cap’s dick?” Stark asked, as angry as anyone had ever seen him.

Steve was so angry that he didn’t even blush at Stark’s statement.

Fury tried again. “You know I don’t give a shit what you do, but they do. Be careful.” And he left without another word, leaving Tony and Steve standing there, perplexed.

“What the fuck?” Tony asked.

“Who knows? Jesus, Tony, we’ve only been togehter for three days.”

“They all know. No way to live in a house and not know what goes on inside it, even one this big.”

“But would anyone tell?”

“No, but there could be bugs. You know how SHIELD watches you.”

Steve felt stupid for not thinking of it before.

“JARVIS, do a sweep for electronic bugging devices, both active and non-active ones.”

“Of course, sir,” came the British accented reply.

Tony turned to Steve. “Would you really quit?” He didn’t add ‘for me,’ but they both knew it was implied.

“Yeah. I might be unique since I’m the only one of me there is, but I am not SHIELD’S property. I have a right to a life and to be with whoever I want to.”

JARVIS spoke. “Sir, I completed the sweep. There are devices in the apartments and in common areas. They appear to have been added since the battle of New York.”

“Did you disable them?”

“I was awaiting your order to do so, sir.”

“Do it. And while you’re at it, add scanning for that particular device to your sweep.”

“Of course.”

Tony turned to Steve. “Now, what was that about being with whoever you want?”

“You know what I meant.” Steve was going to make him work for it.

“Let’s go somewhere -”

“More private? Isn’t that what we thought we had in our own quarters?” Steve asked, though the question was mostly rhetorical.

“Somewhere not here, I meant.”

“And?” Steve was still angry, though not at Tony.

Tony leaned close enough to whisper in his ear. “I’ll fuck you silly like everyone thinks I’m doing anyway.”

Steve turned his head just enough to kiss Tony’s lips. “Promise?”

Tony felt a thrill run through him. “God, yes.”

Tony spoke to JARVIS. “Book us a room somewhere here in Manhattan, somewhere no one would think I’d stay, but no fleabags.”

“Yes, sir. How long will you be staying?”

“Three nights, starting tonight. Try to keep it secret. Don’t use my name.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Pack whatever you need for three days and let’s go,” Tony told Steve.

JARVIS booked them in a decent chain hotel, nothing too luxurious but certainly not a ‘fleabag’. Happy took them in one of the plain sedans that Stark Industries kept at the Tower. They had some clothes, Tony’s credit cards and a couple of big bottles of lube. Steve was nervous. Tony was a basket case.

When they got to their room, Steve put his bag down and sat on the bed, bouncing a little. “Well, it’s soft. Do you like soft beds? You know, we kind of haven’t spent much time together.”

“We’ve spent time, but most of it naked.” Tony put his bag on the dresser.

“I like being naked with you, Stark. It’s better than fighting monsters and aliens any day of the week. That’s pretty much all I’ve ever done since the serum.”

“You hungry? We can order out. We can watch tv.”

“Tony, are you nervous?” Steve realized that his chatter was less rapid fire and more avoidance than usual.

“Yeah. A little.”

“Of me?”

“Of what I want to do to you. I’ve never actually done it to a man before.”

Steve was surprised. He couldn’t imagine Tony ever letting someone else be in control of him that much. “And you want to fuck me? Why not the other way around?”

“I don’t know. It’s what I need to do. I need to make you mine.”

While Steve was intrigued, he was also glad for the stalling tactic. He was nervous, too. He’d never been with a man he cared about, and whether he liked it or not, he did care for Tony Stark. He remembered pain and embarrassment mostly in the act, and he didn’t want feel either of those with Stark.

“Yours? As in a possession?” Steve asked Tony.

“No, never. Mine as in someone I -” he stopped and looked around, as if the word he was trying not to say was floating in front of him. “I don’t want you to be with other people, not with Maria Hill, not with Sharon Carter, not even Natasha.” He paused, licked his lip and looked away in that way he did when he was saying something emotional or important. “I want to be inside you, to show you how much I need you, how much I care.”

Steve knew that this was as close as Stark would likely ever come to a declaration of love. Steve knew he, himself, wouldn’t be able to say the words easily, either. “I want to give you that,” he said quietly as Tony sat beside him. He put an arm around Stark’s shoulder and turned to him. “I want to feel you inside me, Tony. Now.”

He kissed Tony and moved his bag to the floor, then went to work on Tony’s clothes. He pulled his shirt over his head and threw it aside, touching the skin around the Arc Reactor with one hand as the other hand rubbed Stark’s already hard cock through his trousers. Steve continued to kiss him as Tony began working the buttons on Steve’s shirt. Once the buttons were undone, Tony teased flat nipples with his fingers.

Steve made a sound when Tony’s hand slipped inside his jeans to touch him.

“Your skin is always so hot to touch,” Tony whispered against his mouth.

Steve tugged at Tony’s pants and, when Tony lifted his hips off the bed to accommodate him, he pulled them down. Steve was still leaning over and kissing Tony as he stood and pushed his own jeans to the floor. He gently shoved Tony back onto the bed.

Once the discarded clothes were out of the way, they lay on the bed, Tony on his back and Steve on top, grinding his hips against Tony’s. He looked down into Tony’s dark eyes.

“Now, I want you now,” Steve said.

“My bag, we need it.”

Steve hurriedly got up and grabbed it from the dresser and Tony ripped into it, grabbing the bottles he’d dropped in.

Steve moved onto his elbows and knees.

“Let’s see if we can work it face-to-face. I want to watch you while I fuck you,” Tony said. Steve rolled over to face him. Tony poured some of the gel onto his hands and found Steve’s tight little opening. He rubbed the gel on the outside then slipped a finger in slowly, biting his own lip at the small sounds Steve was trying not to make. Steve relaxed and the second finger went in easier and the noises were louder this time.

Steve moved to the edge of the tall bed so Tony would be able to stand beside the bed, an easier fit for them to be able to face one another. Tony rubbed the gel on himself and more on Steve. Steve bit his lip as Tony pressed against his opening, but there was very little pain, just a little extra stretching when Tony pressed inside.

“God!” Tony ground out as he pushed all the way in. “You’re hotter inside than out. Fuck, Steve.”

Steve brought his hand down touch himself as Tony began to thrust. Steve watched Tony as he closed his eyes.

He’d closed his eyes because Steve was so tight and hot that Tony felt more than a little out of control. The whole thing was more intense than he’d expected. He needed to move faster, harder, but -

“I won’t break,” Steve said, as if reading his mind. “Please, Tony, harder.”

Tony gave him his all as he thrust hard and deep, moving faster as he pressed to find that bliss they both chased. He put his hand over Steve’s and stroked along with him, holding tight to Steve’s right leg with the other hand. He leaned in, moving to brace himself on the bed, hand still on Steve’s cock between them.

Steve wrapped his legs around Tony’s back, forcing him closer. He was buried deep and Steve held him so tight that all he could do was rock into Steve, and Steve somehow managed to hold him tighter still, inside and out. It was Tony’s undoing as he came, oblivious to all but the sensations he felt and the man beneath him. Steve hadn’t stopped his own hand moving yet and Tony finally had enough presence of mind to help him again. Tony saw the pleasure in his eyes and felt the warmth of Steve’s semen spread between them, as he heard Steve’s soft grunts of pleasure.

They were still for a few moments, trying to regain their breath, then Tony moved out of Steve. They moved up onto the bed side by side, both staring at the ceiling.

When Tony started to speak, Steve rolled over and put a finger to his lips. “Don’t say anything. Just look at me.”

Tony turned facing Steve and looked into his eyes. “You’re like a drug,” Tony finally said, “a drug I never want to be without.”

Steve just hugged him. “You’re full of crap, but I kinda feel the same way.”

Their three days were exhilarating and exhausting. Tony was sure he’d never actually had that many orgasms in so few days since he was thirteen. If Steve lacked experience at all, he more than made up for it in strength and endurance.


*

Idylls do not last. And Tony and Steve’s didn’t.

Things happened and the world intervened in their lives in ways they’d never have seen coming. Their lives diverged when Steve and Natasha were transferred to Washington. Even though they made promises and had good intentions, Steve and Tony didn’t see one another often for quite some time.

Steve became ensnared in the fall of SHIELD. In the middle of the entire operation was his friend, Bucky, who had transformed into a deadly HYDRA operative called the Winter Soldier. The final shakedown left him with few answers and fewer people he felt he could trust.

Steve spent a lot of his time with Natasha, both of them needing comfort and someone to depend on in an uncertain world. It wasn’t the first they’d turned to one another for comfort.

Tony had moved back to California with Pepper and had his own deadly adventures with Aldrich Killian and his Extremis serum. In the end, he’d had the Arc Reactor removed and vowed to change his life, though he knew in his heart that he could never stop being Iron Man.

Though Steve and Tony talked and even had an assignation now and again, they had gone on with their lives apart. Neither one ever stopped thinking of the other, though they never said as much to one another. The love had not faded as much as it had been put on hold.

The two men ended up back working together when Loki’s scepter surfaced in the possession of one Baron Von Strucker, an ageless monster from Nazi Germany. He was using it to create a new generation of monsters with superhuman abilities. After they retrieved the scepter, the Avengers all went back to New York.

Tony was going to throw a big party at Stark Tower and most of the Avengers were already staying there. Even Thor was there, as he’d helped recover the scepter.

Steve felt almost shy around Tony. Though they’d met up a few times over the last couple of years, and the hurried, frantic lovemaking was as good as it ever had been, they were not part of one another’s daily lives anymore. This didn’t seem to diminish the real affection they felt, but it was easy to move on to other things when they didn’t see one another very often at all.

This night was different. Pepper and Tony were not an item any more (though that happened fairly often). Natasha had her eye on Bruce Banner and she’d told Steve how much she liked him. Banner seemed to have his eye on her as well.

Tony showed up at Steve’s door. Steve was glad to see him, very glad. He pulled Tony inside, slammed the door and pushed Tony against the closed door. He kissed Tony feverishly, so much so that Tony forgot that he’d come to ask Steve about Barnes. They stood against the door, dry humping one another like teenage boys until Steve pulled back and almost dragged a willing Stark to his bedroom.

They were naked in less than a minute and Tony buried himself inside a begging Steve moments later. Only a few more minutes passed until they lay side by side, catching their breath.

“God, I’ve missed you, missed this,” Tony said.

“Yeah. Me, too.” Steve moved closer, pulled Tony into his arms. “I didn’t know there for a while if I’d ever see you again. I could feel it. Natasha and Sam said you were fine, but I worried. I knew you weren’t dead, though.”

“It was an eye opener. Imagine me in the sticks with almost no technology! Oh, I heard that Barnes is still alive.”

“He is, but he doesn’t seem to remember who he is. He saved me when I fell in the lake after we fought on the Helicarrier.”

“I guess it turned out that as big an ass as Fury is, he and Maria Hill were the only good guys left at SHIELD.”

“There were a lot of good people there. More than a few of them died. By the way, I heard you hired Maria Hill.”

“Yep. She’s a smart and efficient person. What are you doing now, Steve?”

“I’m working for you, too, apparently. Actually, I also have this pension from my years in the Army and in SHIELD, but it’s not a lot. Maria and some of your lawyers got me some back pay for my ice time, so I can afford an apartment and all that. I guess I’m still an Avenger, what with there being no SHIELD at the moment.”

Things might have been different if Tony had spent more time in bed with Steve and less time with Bruce trying to figure out what the stone in the scepter was, or trying to save the world by building an army of suits to guard against threats instead of fighting the threats when they happened.

But Tony and Bruce did create Ultron. And things went very badly. In order to save the world, the Avengers wreaked havoc on a small country named Sokovia and this had finally pushed the UN into forcing enhanced individuals to sign the Sokovia Accords.

That is where everything fell apart.

*

“I’m not going to sign the damned things and that is that.” They were sitting at a table in the Avengers complex, in the cafeteria, to be exact. Steve had that stubborn look on his face that said he would not be moved.

Tony was frustrated that Steve simply didn’t seem to understand their importance and told him so.

Steve continued. “You think it’s good because you and Banner made Ultron, Tony. That is all on you two. You wanted to wipe out trouble before it began, just like SHIELD did with Project Insight. I feel terrible about the innocents who died, but those numbers pale in comparison to what SHIELD meant to do or what Ultron meant to do.”

When Tony started to say something, Steve held up his hand. “I’m not done. I won’t submit to control of jackasses like Ross and governments with agendas that have nothing whatsoever to do with the good of the people, just to assuage your guilt over creating a monster.”

“That woman who came to see me, you didn’t see her face. I killed her son. Me. I made an innocent man die.” Tony was truly shaken by this woman and her pain.

“Soldiers do it all the time, Tony. It is part of the awful cost of war.”

“But I’m not a damned soldier!”

“Dammit, Tony, you are. When you built that suit and started fighting evil threats, you became a soldier. Just like me.”

“Just sign the Accords, Steve.”

Tony had come to the Avengers headquarters to talk to Steve about what happened in Nigeria. Wanda had caused several innocent Wakandans to die when she used her near limitless powers against Brock Rumlow. Tony knew that things were going to go badly if Steve didn’t sign the Sokovia Accords. He was prepared to beg.

“Can we just take a few hours and not talk about it?” Tony asked. He sounded tired.

Steve was still angry, but he’d had so little time with Stark since Sokovia, that he nodded in agreement. The guilt had eaten away at Stark, made him question his own motives. Steve had become as adamant the other way. He was more determined than ever to remain free and to make his own choices.

Tony reached for his hand under the table. “Maybe a few minutes alone somewhere?”

They left the cafeteria and went to Steve’s quarters. “Lock the door behind you,” he told Stark with a smile. The words echoed what Stark told him at one of their first times as lovers.

After the door was locked, Steve kissed Tony and looked into his face. Tony looked older, a bit more worn. So did he.

“Let’s not talk for a while,” Stark suggested. Steve smiled at the alien concept coming from Stark.

“Whatever you say,” he murmured as he eased Tony back toward the sofa. Tony stood with the backs of his knees against the sofa as Steve began to undress him, kissing his lips between every piece of clothing and kissing every bit of skin he exposed in the process as well. Tony didn’t move, didn’t speak at all. Once Stark was naked, Steve pushed him to sit. His eyes never left Stark’s as he removed his own clothes.

He dropped to the floor and pulled Stark forward in an embrace. It felt so good, skin against skin. Nothing between them, no one between them. They weren’t hurried this time. Tony was a little surprised when he saw that Steve intended to take him this time, a devriation from all their previous times together. It was every bit as intoxicating as before and left them both breathless and quiet when it was done.

“I love you, Cap,” Tony said very quietly, then he pulled Steve close as they slouched on Steve’s sofa.

Steve wasn’t sure what to say. Of course he loved Tony, but he’d never said it before. “What are we going to do?”

“Dunno. I think it’s going to be bad. Please understand that I care, no matter what happens.”

Steve knew then that Tony was going to side with Ross and the UN, even if it meant their relationship was done. He stood up and led Tony to his bed. He spent the night showing Tony Stark how much he loved him.

But he never said the words.

The news came in the next morning that Peggy Carter had died.

Steve knew that Tony and some of the others were going to Vienna, where the Accords were to be ratified. He flew to London instead to say goodbye to the love of his life. One of them, anyway. Sam went with him. He had become an Avenger because of his friendship with Steve and he’d stick by him.

He’d never known that Sharon Carter had been Peggy’s niece until she got up at the service. She spoke about her aunt:

…she said, compromise when you can. Where you can't, don't. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move. It is your duty, to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye and say, "No, you move.”

That was his Peggy. He knew then that he would not compromise, even for Tony. If he did, then he betrayed everything he’d ever stood for.

That was when it all truly went to hell.

In Vienna, someone who looked like Bucky killed King T’Chaka. His son, T’Challa, vowed vengeance and everyone went after Barnes. Steve decided that he needed to find Barnes before anyone else did.

Neither of them ever thought it would be so ugly or so painful, but they were both men of conviction and passion. Neither of them could back down, so they landed on opposite sides of a very personal war.

There was nothing to be said or done after that. They fought and fought and Steve won.

They both lost.

Everything.

One another.

The fallout from their war left them both changed, angry.

Tony kept telling himself that he was more angry at what Steve had not told him about the death of his parents, but the truth was that he was broken hearted that Steve had chosen Barnes instead of him.

Steve did the only thing he actually knew how to do: he fought. He banded together with Natasha and Sam and they began to fight the same battles they would have had they still been Avengers. Being a soldier was all Steve knew how to do.

The letter and the phone let Tony know that it was not forever. Maybe.

He never let either out of his sight.